Happiness: Call it an old Journal Entry

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Serengeti University

     In the animal kingdom, survival of the fittest rules. Insects are eaten by small rodents, who are eaten by small carnivores, who are eaten by large carnivores, who are eaten by each other. Animals are ruthless, emotionless and driven by survival. The kingdom of man is not all that different, although we’d like to think so. The homeless are dominated by the low-class, who are dominated by the middle-class, who are dominated by the upper-class, who are all bent on “out-succeeding” each other. Domination leads to the survival of the species. Inspired by the great explorer, Horace Miner, I embarked on an adventure of my own. University.

     Upon arriving in the wilds of the teenage wasteland we call “university”, I quickly realized that if I were to survive this safari of education based survival, I would have to observe the resident prides, packs and flocks that were already adapting to their new found habitat.

     There are lions here. They don’t call themselves lions though. They call themselves athletes. By far the biggest of all the wildlife at Serengeti, the athletes behave as if the world is theirs to own. For them, life is a game to win, and it is already in the bag. “Pride” is the perfect word for their group. The larger males strut the fields, courts and rinks of their own kingdom as well as the surrounding kingdoms of other prides, sporting multi-colored New York Yankees hats and bared fangs, hunting down the weaker teams and prides. They are strategic in their presentations of masculinity. Although they lack sharp teeth, retractable claws and long manes (at least most of them), they make up for it in $200 shoes, jogging pants and the jersey of their favorite sports team. These are all symbols of status among the pride. If you dare to wear the wrong thing, you will be silently judged by those who have been deemed the dominant leaders of the group.

      The den of the lions dwarfs the dens of other animals in Serengeti University. They proudly display the bones of past prey and opponents in glass cases at the entrance of the den. These shrines are proof to the pride that they are powerful, dangerous killers of hoops, nets and end zones. These shrines also warn other non-lions to beware of the pride. The trophies themselves are worth no more than a hundred dollars, but to the pride, they are priceless. Whether or not an individual actually played on that specific winning team, they would defend “their” trophy to the death. The heart of the den is the gladiator-esque arena at the center. Following in the footsteps of their Roman ancestors, these lions devour any outsiders that are thrown before their foaming jaws. The spectating hyenas in the stands laugh and growl at each point scored and death dealt as if they were a member of the pride themselves. Each point scored, each assist achieved brings a sense of elation to the individual and to the team. This sense of self worth is as short lived as is the period it is attained in. The players feed off this feeling of success and power and feel as if they are doing the world a favor by simply bouncing a ball or shooting a puck. If only this false sense of acceptance lasted a lifetime. The oldest lions, once past their prime, starve to death from a lack of their food of admiration.

     There are, no doubt, other species to be observed and studied at Serengeti University. This adventure may prove to be a lengthy one. I must learn to adapt to my new surroundings and camouflage myself from the more aggressive species. I have to go now, I hear howling in the distance….

Say

I’m listening to the song “Say” by John Mayer. All biases aside (although I already liked him), if you listen to this song, I mean actively listen to the words, you have heard truth. 

Verse 1

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

If John Mayer wanted to come right out and say it, he could have titled this song “Cut The Crap”. Take all of your wasted honor…..remember when climbing to the top of the monkey bars in school was as good as winning the Olympic gold medal? Or maybe you actually won an Olympic gold medal. Obviously monkey bars are not the system in which we measure true honor. You think it’s honor at the time. You may have not even grown out of that way of thinking and thus have dedicated your life to ice climbing and won the Olympic gold medal for it. Are you really more honorable for doing that than getting to the top of the monkey bars? Or is that “honor” wasted because in the end, it’s not what you take with you when you go, it’s what you leave behind (thanks Randy Travis). Every little past frustration….. Maybe you had trouble along the way, that in the end seems silly and unimportant. You ever had a time when, after your problem was gone, you felt stupid for ever calling it a problem in the first place? Take all of your so-called problems…..I thought it was a problem when I couldn’t ride a bike, understand algebra, get an A in class or make everyone like me. If I asked someone who’s 100 years old what their biggest problems in life were, do you think they’d talk about algebra? No. They’d put that “problem” in quotations.

Say what you need to say

Verse 2

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Generally, I don’t think guys (men) like asking for help. We are ingrained with the need to be the independent, strong, providing warrior. You don’t want someone to have to help you because you’re able to do everything! All by yourself! Like a big boy! The truth is that people need people. Remember the first time God said something was “not good” when He was creating things? ‘There below Him stood a cowboy alone’ (props to Garth Brooks). Even though He created a man, and that man was a good creation, the whole “alone” situation was NOT good. God needed to say what He needed to say, and say “let there be woman”. Men need women, not only for a mate, lover, companion and helper. Men need women to walk beside them. To support them. To affirm their feelings and to dissolve their doubts. Too many times, men remain in pain and “live out their same old moments” because they’re too chicken to admit they’re chicken. If that’s you, you’d be better off if you would just…..

Say what you need to say

Verse 3

Have no fear for giving in

(“Fear not for I am with you”.)

Have no fear for giving over
(“Cast all your cares on Him”.)

You'd better know that in the end

(“All things work together for good for those who Love the Lord.”)
It’s better to say too much

(“Forgive not one time, but seventy times seven.”)
Then never say what you need to say again

 Verse 4

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

I can remember times when there was something I needed to tell a person, and I was so nervous that not only were my hands shaking, my whole body was shaking and my mouth was all dried out. I think this can happen whether the thing to be said is good or bad. Some subjects are so heavy and serious that they take over all your senses. In the case of bad news, you may be at the end of your rope. You may have already hit rock bottom. You’d rather die than ask for help or admit that you’re wrong. This is the greatest opportunity for change. For repentance. For confession. When you have nothing left to hold on to or stand for. When your heart feels that empty, there’s no need to hide what’s inside it anymore. It will be like opening up a book with no words written in it yet. You can begin the story however you’d like. You can become a new person with a new life. All your troubles are washed away and all your fears have lost their names. Your pages are white as snow.

Now is the perfect time to….

Say what you need to say

Click to listen....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZ0z86LmXBM

Sweet Sorrow

Leaving.

Being left.

Packing a backpack. Turning off the light. Walking down the stairs. Hugging loved ones. Hugging liked ones. Saying “see ya later” so you don’t have to say the “G” word.  Trying to decide where to put the arms when you hug people.

Proper Goodbye Hugging

 Guys to guys: right arm up over their left shoulder, left arm under their right arm, pat the back or the hand grab to pull-in and one hand pat. Say words like “man”, “bro”, “buddy” and “dude” (my favorite one). Guys to girls (no feelings between): Sometimes allowed to do the first guy to guy technique, or just squeeze extra hard pretending to be silly. Guys to girls (feelings): Guys try to wrap your arms as far around her waist as possible like you actually don’t want to let go (which you probably don’t). Girls should wrap arms up over the guys shoulders around his neck. Pressing your cheek to theirs is also good in this situation. Whispering something here is ideal, but difficult to execute because of “chickening” problems.

The “EG”

Once you have taken part in hugging everyone who’s huggable, and some who aren’t, you are allowed to leave. If you have taken too long with all of this, “repeat hugging” is allowed in moderation. Especially between people with “feelings” (this is actually recommended). If you are really good at goodbyes, then you may have planned what is called an “epic goodbye” or “EG”. This would usually take place between the “feelings” people. One of the two people would have thought long and hard about how to create a movie type goodbye scene and probably would have lost sleep over it. As the saying goes, “location, location, location!” You should find a relatively secluded place for this goodbye. You should not however walk too far away from your car for fear of a long walk after the “EG” occurs. The “leaver” also must be able to get in their car/bus/plane directly thereafter and leave alone, so you must be close enough to where the “leavee” needs to stay. Nature scenes are popular for this type of goodbye as well as front/back yards, bridges, gazebos and parks. The final step is this: ALWAYS LOOK BACK AT EACH OTHER! Both parties must meet each others eyes at least once before the “EG” comes to an end. Look back until eye contact occurs.

Tips for “Leavees”

In the case that you are the “leavee” there are also various things you can do to make this parting moment memorable. Since you may not have to pack any bags yourself, you will have spare time to prepare. Gifts are a good idea but can be risky. Don’t give the “leaver” something too big. If they are in a tightly packed car, it may not fit without being crunched (in which case they become mad at themselves for awhile). Flowers are just silly because they will probably die before the “leaver” gets to their destination (if the trip isn’t long enough to kill flowers, then it’s not far away enough for an elaborate goodbye). When someone is being left, they are at greater risk for emotional distress. Not only may they feel as if they’re “not going anywhere” but they may also feel as if they are being left behind because of an inadequacy on their part. It is also your responsibility as a “leavee” to always be close by to the “leaver” as they are leaving in case multiple hugs are possible. And certainly if one of you has an “EG” planned.

Proper Waving Techniques

On the subject of waving: this will usually happen by reflex, but not always. The “leavee” will often do the “timid, chest height, hand wave”. This wave says “I’ll try to get by without you but it probably won’t work.” If the “leavee” is a more dramatic person, they made use the “unmoving, stretched arm up into the sky” wave. This wave is rare, but can mean “I will always be here whenever you want to come back”. The “leaver”, if they are leaving on foot, will most likely do a couple “spin around casual hand” waves. This is where the “leaver” spins 180 degrees while walking, walks backwards and waves their hand quickly while pressing their lips tightly together. In most cases, this wave is repeated 2-3 times. One wave that is rarely seen and hard to translate is the “Eddison” wave. This wave is a simple lift of one hand to shoulder height and held still as if the person were swearing on a Bible. This wave was named for the late Robert Eddison (June 10, 1908-December 14, 1991) who played the Grail Knight at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade who used the said wave to bid farewell to Dr. Jones while the earthquake was occurring just before Indiana escaped his death. This wave most likely means “you are a strong, modern, respectable warrior and adventurer, in whom I have infinite respect for; for you have chosen wisely”.

These techniques are all simple suggestions of how to make your partings easier on the “leavers” and “leavees”. You may choose to add your own style or flair to them, but this can be risky. Especially should you attempt an “EG”.

“If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” -Tupac

Spring

Springtime is here! Old man winter is slowly giving up his cold grip on the land. In my home state of Minnesota, my favorite things to do in the springtime are things like dancing out in the rain, chasing tornados, hunting for morel mushrooms, and hiking in the woods all over the countryside.

Springtime brings out all sorts of different joys and trials. I remember one such joy that I experienced a few Springs ago. I went hiking in one of my favorite forests just outside of my home town of Rochester. I’d never been there in the prime of Spring before, only in the middle of the summertime or in early fall when everything was brown and rusty. This particular day was very different from the green summer days or brown autumn days. As soon as I stepped through thick underbrush into the forest, I saw that the entire forest floor was painted purple with bluebell flowers. There was the odd white flower here and there but 98% of the forest floor was solid purple. I didn’t even feel like I was walking through the woods, I felt like I was in a movie or a fairy tale. After I walked for a mile or two, I saw a streak of yellow on the forest floor. When I got to it, I saw that there was a spring bubbling up from underneath the roots of a giant Oak tree and all around the spring on either side, yellow flowers were growing all the way down to the main river. That was a great joy.

Another Spring day, we had a powerful thunderstorm blow in. There were tornado warnings all over the southern part of the state warning everyone to stay indoors and stay in their basements. I’m not one to be afraid of the weather so I took everything out of my pockets and ran outside. I live on a hill in the city so every time it rains, there’s a river that rushes down the street in front of my house. I stood outside in the pouring rain and lightening and thunder for a couple hours, running through the wet grass, pretending to water ski in the river of rain and getting soaked to the bone. I stayed outside till I had wrinkly fingers. That was a great joy.

Every May, my buddies and I go hunting for Morel mushrooms for our annual Steak & Mushroom BBQ. Morel mushrooms look like a brain on a stalk and taste amazing. Morels are pretty hard to find and although I have found them in the woods behind my house, that was a rare occasion. So one day, I grabbed 2 friends and we drove out to a piece of woods about an hour out of town. While we were hiking, we split up to search the woods. I was alone and the other two guys were together. After a couple hours, I gave up the search, having only found a couple rotten mushrooms. I called for the other two but they were long gone. I decided to go back to my car and wait for them. I waited for about an hour then decided to just take a nap to make the time pass faster. I woke up 3 hours later, and they were still nowhere to be found. I searched the woods and yelled as loud as I could, but they were no where. I walked back to my car to wait some more. I had parked on a dirt road in the woods where no one ever came. After a while, I heard another car coming. An old Chevy pulled up and my 2 buddies got out. They were covered with mud and looked about dead. They told me they had gotten lost and had to walk through the fields to a farmhouse. The farmer drove them almost 10 miles back to my car. They even told me that they had gotten pretty dehydrated and had to drink out of a dirty river using the dirty mushroom bags as water jugs. On our way home, we stopped at a small café and laughed at ourselves for being so silly. That was a joy.

I have a couple weeks left here in Viking and it hasn’t all been normal. There has been all sorts of storms, miracles and adventures. Whatever the weather, I like to take joy in it. If you can’t take joy from the good, the bad and the ugly, you’ll miss life passing you by. I’ve loved my time here and I’m ready for the next adventure.